The Other News From England.

31 Jan 2000.

Index of earlier issues - click here.

(Those who like digging about will find that there are hundreds of articles on many subjects to be found on this site.)

Old issues.

I am working again on old issues of Other News (1993) and hope soon to put a few more of them on the site.

Further reduced edition.

"I Did it On The LETS".

Alan Sloan requested that we should put the sheet music for 'I Did It On The LETS' on this site. There is a place to click through to the sheet music section at the bottom of this document, but here are the words and a few instructions:

words for "I Did It on The LETS":-

My dog broke his leg

And I couldn't get a vet

But they did it on the LETS -

My mate's bike

Got a puncture on a spike

So they did it on the LETS -


Janet's dream

Was to get her garden clean

So they came with those machines

That clip and cut and glean

And they went through the lot

They gave it all they'd got

And they did it on the LETS.


Our front room

Needs a man with a broom

But they did it on the LETS -

Mary's cat

Was getting rather fat

But they slim them on the LETS -


I always dreamed of a house machine

That wouldn't stop work

If it saw a magazine

But now it's alright

They provide them on the LETS


Big Jim's hip

Was giving him some jip

They replace them on the LETS -

He had an achey back

And didn't like the quack

But they did it on the LETS


The masseur's charm

Could have broken any arm

But she kept right on

'Til she cleared away the harm

And when she was done

He could move and even run

And they did it on the LETS. ..................................

(instrumental till bar 9, then:

So if you've got a job

And it's gonna cost a bob

Or if you really need a hand

Or a most unusual band

Forget the yellow pages

They're for those on whacking wages

Just do it on the LETS

At 'Or a most unusual band', pause. Rubato to end. Last line ends with cadence c/cm6 to G on word 'LETS' extended over one bar plus one beat.

GENERAL INSTRUCTIONS: Play like Status Quo or similar pop rock band, interspersing soloists between verses.

When performed by the originators, this song comes out more as 12/4 time than as dotted quavers in 4/4 as shown on the sheet music published 30 Jan 2000.

That should keep you busy. It is a song a competent band can learn in about twice as long as it takes to play it, so for those of you looking for quick, easy, danceable rock'n'roll stuff for a gig this is the one.


I quote from a document obviously written by a lawyer:

Rent Act 1977 part IV, Section 45, subsection 2 (registration under part IV): "This subsection is subject to the following provisions of this Act: Section 55 and 71(3), paragraph 10 of Schedule 8........(sic) and paragraph 3 of Schedule 20."

Just to make sure everybody has it clear in their mind.

London Rent Assessment Panel.

These people are incapable of doing their job. The pity of it is that, despite the fact that the job is impossible other than by cheating, they still continue to try to cause the public to believe that they are honest and just people who will always do the right thing.

In other words, it would be far more honest of them to overtly cheat instead of trying to hide it behind a veil of spurious 'science'. Their job is to keep rents for those on social security within the reach of the social security beneficiaries regardless of the economic needs of those who provide the accomodation. This, in some (and possibly many) cases makes it impossible to maintain the buildings people are living in (even in those cases where the tenants do not try to obstruct maintenance), and is capable of turning a perfectly good landlord into a bad one - for reasons which will be obvious to all but the London Rent Assessment Panel.

To be a small landlord in England tody is probably very similar to what it was like to be a Jew in England in the Middle Ages. In the Middle Ages there were Jews in England, but as they were not Christians they were thought of as being sinners whom it was just to rob. The fact that the only living available to them because of a selection of gross prejudices against them was dealing in gold led to the image which in some less bright circles exists to this day - that they are ruthless usurers. But it is very easy to see that a lot of the time the real cause may be ill-placed envy of their (sometimes) economic position.

Could it be that the same prejudices are coming into play in the LRAP right now at the beginning of the 21st century?

LETSSwing at Crawley January 29, 2000.

This was a most enjoyable event. Crawley LETS hired a hall in the middle of Crawley, and, ignoring MacDonalds, Ten Pin Bowling, and all the other multi-coloured and garish possibilities such a town offers, did their own catering, danced, swapped ideas and compliments, and socialised - not just with each other but with whoever came along.

Crawley is a town completely (as far as I know) without any old architecture or tradition, looking so much the same throughout that someone like me wonders how anybody manages either to find their way to their house or to tolerate living there, yet suddenly here was a real life event.

Good fun.

LETSSwing at Bonnington Cafe.

CANCELLATION and new dates.

LETSSwing will not, after all, be at the Bonnington on the 5th., but will instead be there on the 12th and the 19th. See below.

Some of LETSSwing at the Bonnington Cafe on the 12th and 19th Feb. No charge for entry, but you need to buy a meal. The food is high quality vegetarian and quite cheap. Usually 7 a head would cover the meal, but bring your own wine. Rather Bohemian atmosphere. Booking is difficult, and it gets very crowded when such acts are there.

Bonnington Cafe, Vauxhall Grove, London SW8 UK. Near Vauxhall underground and mainline station, and many buses. Booking is difficult.


British Telecom

Having cause to enquire of BT engineers when they would repair a telephone which had broken down I rang them, and was greeted with the message:

"Due to the very high number of enquiries we are unable to answer your call. We are doing everything possible to resolve the situation. Please try again later."

What they could try is (a)hire enough people to do the job properly (b) pay them properly (c) treat them with respect so that they feel like getting the job done (d) reduce the working week to the most effective one - 3 days in 7 - which under most circumstances could be expected to increase the output of the workers noticeably.

But these things don't count under 'everything possible' when viewed through the eyes of people who are only interested in how they themselves can profit - not even the last one.


Are you sure you want a monarch? This quote is from a newspaper some time ago, which reported the fact that a lump of plaster had fallen off a ceiling in Buckingham Palace upon a person who was standing watching a ceremony, doing him some damage to the head:

"The Queen paused briefly and then walked on.......The man was well bloodied.....A highly skilled doctor tidied him up a bit. The ceremony continued."

What kind of people are these who are incapable of respecting anybody yet presume to be our monarch?


IF YOU WANT A REAL COCKUP, see if you can get Southwark to help you.


The stuff that doesn`t often get changed now follows:

Wanted: Established musical act performing to reasonably sophisticated adult audiences needs an agent. This act is already on the road but needs help with increasing it's profile, and getting in front of a wider variety of audiences. Please email or if that doesn't work.

This website is about the destruction of countryside and agriculture. Worth a visit if you want to find out about how it is thought the British countryside will fair under the ongoing creep of the multinationals.

This website is one to do with monetary reform. If you are interested in economics it is worth a look.

This is a website about alternative currencies.Might be worth a look to those who have realised that you don't necessarily have to have money as such to be prosperous.

This is a website for something called The Green Guide. I know nothing about it, but am hoping it is something worthy. Please let me know if it is questionable.

This is a site concerned with one of the most unpopular planning decisions ever made in Greater London, the Crystal Palace Complex. It is so stunningly awful that only a handful of people who do not live near it appear to approve, whilst the rest are not entirely uninclined to mention such things as payola, name it! The site belongs to the London Borough of Bromley, but the aggro generated by it and the destruction of amenity caused by it will be almost entirely suffered by residents of adjoining boroughs and not the people of Bromley themselves.

This is a recycling site based in London, and offering materials to anybody. The organisation is a charity seeking to link suppliers of surplus materials with users. Especially good for the more ingenious designers amongst us.

The email of the people who run the above site is They are called Creative Supplies. Look them up for more info.

Here's an interesting education site - particularly for those who have young children and are not quite sure what to do to avoid the worst of what`s on offer in the mainstream of education.They are called

early Othernews - 1992, 93, 94.

Early Other News essays.

There were a few essays that went out with the early Other News as a freestanding item. You can read these by clicking below.


The Soup Designer`s Handbook.

The Soup Designer`s Handbook.

London Journey - a trip from Docklands through Beckenham and back to Docklands.

Friday Woodworkers.

(Friday Woodworkers are suffering a temporary break due to some of the episodes not having been fully edited at the time of writing. It may take some timne to fix this problem.

Episode 17.

(These articles were written in 1988, and were my first attempt at writing. Some people when shown these fell about laughing, some smiled faintly - and some yawned. I thought I was going to write a technical book, but it soon became apparent that I was much more interested in the people than the technology - and that is the main reason there are no drawings - although it might be rather good to do a couple of caricatures sometime.)

Index of Friday Woodorker articles (and a means of access).

Index of earlier issues.

Gabriele Gad on alternative therapy.

A READER COMPLAINED that it was not possible to go back more than 6 articles in Gabriele`s area. Regrettably this is because there is no index, and I have not the time to organise one yet. However, for those determined enough to find the early ones, they should be accessible by going to an early Other News and clicking through from it. This will not be fast, but I think will do the job. They started about November 1997 I think.

Cartoons and graphics.

drawings click here.

sheet music click here.



In an earlier issue I told you about my feelings regarding Tempo retailers and the Lexmark 3200 printer I bought from them.

The Lexmark 3200 printer I got from Tempo must surely be the most uneconomical printer I could possibly have bought. The black cartridge only does about 250 pages of ordinary type - for 28! That makes each sheet cost 11.2 pence plus the cost of the paper and probably another 11.2 pence more if any colour is used! - ABOUT 22.4 PENCE A SHEET! Nearly a pound for every four sheets!

I wouldn`t recommend you to buy it - but also look at my earlier article for an idea of Tempo`s service.


A person to help make up a subject index for the growing numbers of articles on The Other News From England. Email

8- or more-track tape recorder. email

All material on this site is copyright. Contact me if you want to use it. I am quite flexible. Educational non-profit use is free - but ask for permission and print an acknowledgement. If you can`t think what to print, put:

From The Other News From England.

That`s all this week folks